I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
