we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
