Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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