okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
