I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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