is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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