his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
