I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
