Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
