In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
