I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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