make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
