If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It was confusing and full of hummus
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
