What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i believe in u and ur pee
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
