I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
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