somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
