I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
