i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
