I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
