What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Randomize
