does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
