The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
