I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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