I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
