he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
