Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
