she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
