Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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