Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Be still, my beating vagina.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
