Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
