The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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