considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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