that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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