So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize