Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
