im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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