Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
