Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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