Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
