everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
