So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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