well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
