We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
