It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
