That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
