So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
