i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
