I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
