That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
