Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize