my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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