I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
