Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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