it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
