this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
