i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
